Wednesday, October 17, 2012

October




The chill in the air this morning affirmed to me that it really is October, which, along with her sisters November and December, are my favorite months of the year. 

This is my time.
These are my days.

When I step outside, and stroll 'neath fanning umbrellas of red and gold, a breath-taking crisp fills my lungs as if to say, "You are cleansed. You are fresh and flawless. You are spotless and shining."

And I love that feeling.

So bring on the apple pie baking, the long, rustling and crackling walks, the hooded sweatshirts, the candy corn jamborees, the parfum de campfire....

It beginning to feel a lot like fall, y'all.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me





Happy Birthday to Me




The past week has been a whirlwind of bubbly bliss, trembling tears, deep thoughts, apparent no-thoughts, satisfied sighs, doubts and dislikes, loud laughter, quiet moments, grand anticipations, peaceful ponderings, resilient reflections...and today I begin the second day of my fabulous forties. 

Where has the time gone? 

It's gone like a song.

That still sings on. and on. and on.

I hear it. In the sleepy babbling of my children, in the buzzing near my little garden, in the thank-yous for the food I cook, in the silly words I write, in the clatter and clamor and chaos all around me, in the I-love-yous of my man so true, in the whines of a fiddle and the twangs of a mandolin, in the voice of my mama on the phone, in the song of my deck-dwelling birds, in the laughter of my grandpa....it sings on and on and on...




Happy Day After To Me...and may I be blessed with many more.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Christmas in July

Christmas in July


Red and green balls 
Bright yellow stars
Greenery draped
across wooden bars
colorful goodies
filling glass jars
friends and family
from near and far



little red birds
on angel~wings fly
glorious colors
light up the sky
laughter of children,
blinking white lights
It's a summertime Christmas
It is JULY




















Tuesday, May 22, 2012

God is Watching Over Me


Who knew I'd have to switch driving hands seconds before so I could put the phone to my right ear to hear my mama a little  better.
Who knew I could have only made that sharp swerve with a now 'free' left hand.
Who knew I would be sitting sideways under a crossroad's traffic light, shaking uncontrollably.
Who knew that black truck that came barreling through his red light at the intersection would come within inches of plowing through my two children and me.  (and, just a FYI, kept right on truckin it...)


Who knew? 
The One who was watching over me, that's who.


When I straightened my van up, and started back up the road again, the same One who was watching over me put these words in my heart.  And when I reached my destination, through tears of gratitude, I put these words on paper...

Sometimes I wonder if He even sees me
And I wonder, does He know I'm 'bout to fall
Then He reaches down His hand to me
And quietly He lets me see
He was always with me when I thought I was alone


God is watching over me and He hears me when I pray
He reaches down His hand and blesses me each day
And like the little sparrow I am not afraid
For He's watching...over me.


Sometimes it takes a little bit of trouble
To open up my eyes and show me who
Has carried me and always been 
My ever-loving, faithful friend
He will still be with me when my work on earth is through


And now fast-forward past the almost accident.  Past my long practices in the shower. Past the giving it to my family to mold and shape.  Past the anxious recording time.  

Enter a saucy banjo.  Bring on a sassy mandolin chop.  Welcome the sway of a smooth fiddle.  


And there you have it.


Hearty hope.  
Joyful jubilation.  
Rapturous rejoicing.  
An upbeat uplift.  
Peace with some pep.


Song number 1 on:


www.cockmanfamily.com



And keep fast-forwarding... all the way to a calm drive home from church one Sunday afternoon, where just before we entered that same old intersection, a song came on the radio...God is Watching Over Me...

My voice.  
His words.  
Our song. 

And He reminded me again. 
God is truly watching over me.




Monday, May 14, 2012

I Saw Joy





I saw a man the other day
who had but just one leg.
The other was a metal frame
that ended in a peg.


I saw him as I sang for folks;
I watched him from the stage.
I wondered if he knew he was
the object of my gaze.


At first I felt such pity for
the man, but in a while,
I noticed that his old face shone
with a constant smile.


I saw upon his face a joy;
uninterrupted bliss.
I had to ponder reasons for 
a happiness like this.


I wondered if he'd fought a war.
Had he struggled overseas?
Or had he battled cancer or
some other cruel disease?


Had he overcome it all
to sit here just this way?
Had he met the One who gave
him every breath to pray?


Did he love our music?
Did he pick or play or sing?
Did he have a grandchild?
Did he wear a wedding ring?


I wondered as I stood before
this man whose hands were raised,
if I could just inspire him
who'd seen the darker days.


And then the joy I saw in him
swept o're me like the sea;
For this man with but one leg
had just inspired me.


And as we sang, down in my heart,
a rhapsody was put,
Because I saw a man whose joy
could tap his metal foot.





Tuesday, May 1, 2012





Mothers and daughters. Tea kettles and candlelight. Grandmothers and granddaughters. Soft music and lace. Aunts and nieces. Tea cookies and pink flowers. Giddy girls of all ages. Chattering. Chuckling. Cherishing sweet moments together. 


What a beautiful evening our girls had last night hosting their tea party!








Sigh. If only every day could be the tea party you thought it would be. You remember. When you were seven, and the view of the world from your bedroom window was wide and wonderful. And Teddy served the most delicious milk and sprinkled cookies on crocheted doilies that your grandmother made. And your dolls beheld you as the princess of the party. And you knew that when you grew up you would smile and sip and love and laugh the days away.


As I was writing this, I looked over my shoulder at my kitchen table today. History and math books scattered on one end. Car keys. A camera case. Cell phone.  A few dinosaurs. And a banana. Aha! Food! That could be a glimmer of  a little girls dream, right?


It appears this morning that I've replaced milk with coffee, and sprinkle cookies with raisin bread.
And you know what?
I take a sip and smile.


Because all those things that are winking at me from my kitchen table...they're the doilies of the wide and wonderful world I grew into.















Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Little Rules To Live By








~Little rules to live by~

Love your neighbor as yourself.
Treat each other with respect.

Crayons go back in the box.
Pray each day and change your socks.

Never swallow chewing gum.
Popsicles will numb your tongue.

Take care for surely you may be
the only Bible some may read.

Little rules to live by.


I found this little poem tucked away...not in a keepsake box, or an old book, or even in a drawer under a pile of owner's manuals...but in the hidden safety of my 2010 facebook timeline status updates. 

I know there are lots of ideas running wild in those busy brains out there in www land, home of the texters and the clickers and the scrollers and the flying fingers...ideas that involve more little rules to live by...

Send them in. Show us the insides of your minds. Submit the sweetness of your hearts. We want to read them...all your little rules to live by. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Don't cry over spilled milk

It did not softly whisper. It didn't gently brush my cheek with little drops of sunshine. It didn't softly lay my robe across my shoulders and place a rose in my hand. No, after a week of vacation, Monday morning was cruel. It was bright.  It was blaring.  It was unrelenting.


And then I crawled out of bed.


And the pattern for my day was laid. 


At breakfast, after burned toast, spilled milk, which I almost cried over, and our dog, Nutmeg, stealing my sausage, the pattern for my day was indeed cut. No turning back now.


Spelling woes and a stuffy nose...annoying calls and lost baby dolls
careless math and mama's wrath...
tongue-burning noodle soup, cleaning icky dog poop
laundry piled high, oh me, oh my...


And then suddenly, in the midst of all my misfortunes, I just stopped. Except for the half-hearted request of blessings on the sausage right before it became dog-snatched and devoured, and except for that one time I called his name when the milk was heading for the floor, I hadn't even talked to God today. What could I say now? Thank You for this mess?


And that's exactly what I did. Outside. On my swing. Alone. Well, if I could ignore the pouty face of a bad doggy ogling me through the window. So, almost alone. And in the quiet stillness of a place so deep in my heart, this is what I heard.


They prevented me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my stay. 


Psalm 18:18. 


How beautiful are the words. How fitting and timely. I don't know who they were for David. Saul...other enemies...
But for me, they became everything about this day. 
What a calamity.
What a day.
What a they.
But....
What a Stay!!


And I did thank Him for the mess...for the children, for the dog leering at the window, for the constant ringing of the phone, for the milk, and for everything and everyone else that helped make it.


I'd be lying if I said that from that moment on my day was perfect, with roses and Prince Charming and happily ever afters. But my little girl did pick flowers for me from the backyard.  And my prince did come home and take his shoes off outside so as not to dirty my mopped floors. And at bedtime, with clean floors, school work finished, laundry done, and Nutmeg in her crate, I'd be truthful in saying my day of calamity ended happily...with the Lord as my stay.









Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Beyond My Thoughts





My brother Ben won the guitar competition at Renofest last month. It was a great accomplishment, and we were all very proud of him.  One of the songs he played was the Irish folk tune, "Danny Boy."  Or to some,"Londonderry Air." And still to others, "He Looked Beyond My Fault and Saw My Need," by Dottie Rambo. Lots of information there. You're very welcome.


And so the last couple times that we were in concert, my dad wanted Ben to relive the moment and perform the song. And, might I add, his playing it brings tears to my eyes every time. Simply beautiful.  My dad announced that Ben would be playing the song we all know, "He Looked Beyond My Thoughts and Saw My Needs."


The first time we all giggled. As a father's children (regardless of age) occasionally do.  The second time we all began to loud whisper down the stage, as bluegrass musicians occasionally do, "It's faauultsss, nnot thooouuuughtssss!".....


But then I started thinking, as I occasionally do...


He did look beyond my thoughts. 


When my children are sick, and the temps are climbing, and the dishes are piling, and the uncertainty is rising, and I'm thinking, I can do this on my own...He saw that I'd need comfort and peace, and He gave me His Word. 


When I'm being hard to get along with, and I'm not on the best-of-friend terms with any of my best of friends, and the silence is deafening, and I'm thinking that it's everybody's problem but my own...He saw that I'd need something to sooth my soul, and He gave me music.


When the night is long and dark and scary, and I've spent it tossing and turning, and thinking that I need an answer right now, He saw that I'd need to see the beauty in patience, and He lit up the sky with a breathtaking sunrise. 


My thinking of a great God in heaven, far away, but requiring my worship. And He came near, and showed me Himself.


My thinking of black or white, wrong or right, live the law.  And He came near, and showed me Grace.


Now don't get me wrong. I have a few faults that I wouldn't mind Him looking beyond. Really? 
This chocolate worshiping, 
Monday-morning slothful, 
mad-at-her-neighbor's-dog, 
all-you-can-eat-chinese-buffet glutton?  
Yes, yes, it's true. 


But I'm so glad He looked beyond my faults...and my thoughts...and saw my needs.






Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Overcoming some pretty tough dirt




Flowers are springing up everywhere here in the Cockman neighborhood. 

Some that we don't even remember planting were hiding under the bitter ground all winter, and now have broken through some pretty tough dirt and are joyfully drinking up the rain and dancing in the sunlight.

That's quite a persistent little seed down in that cold earth. To endure the chill. To withstand the months of darkness. To press against the hindrance 
above it. To finally break through the barriers and reach for the sun with all its might.




If that flower were a preacher
I'll bet that he would say
Press on to the high calling
Letting nothing in your way

If that flower were a singer
I'll bet she'd almost blush
When grateful gusts of melodies
At once began to gush

If that flower were a teacher
I'll bet he'd count the ways
He'd patiently kept prodding,
Nudging, toward more hopeful days

If that flower were a girl like me
Who'd overcome some gloom
I'll bet she'd soak up all the sun
And let her testimony bloom!
                ~C

Have you thought there was no hope, but something just wouldn't let you give up? And against the odds, you endured. Have you been under some pretty tough dirt? Have burdens weighed down on you, but something gave you strength to press against them? And you pushed right on through to daylight. To happiness. To bliss. To drinking up the rain and dancing in the sunlight.



~Song of Solomon 2:10~13
My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.~






Monday, March 19, 2012

Grandpa



Grandpa. 
One word defines him.
But a million words couldn't describe him.





I'm thankful for my grandpa. 
For the joy that is his, for the hero that he is, I am thankful. 
And I'm thankful that this first day of spring can only mean one thing.  
Somewhere, someday, somehow, someway...another spring awaits us all.

~He sits in the sunshine.  He breathes in its rays. 
He tells me a story of his younger days.
Bright yellow blossoms bend down to hear.
A butterfly flutters by, then hovers near.

He smiles at the children. He laughs as they come.
He holds out his arms to envelop each one.
The smell of wild onions and freshly tilled dirt
Set a spark in his eyes that is lively and pert.

He walks by the garden. He rests on the swing.
He soaks up the joy of this first day of spring.
Little blue flowers dance in the breeze,
Memories are molded by moments like these.~
                 ~C





Tuesday, March 13, 2012

If Your Doorknobs Were All Diamonds....

If Your Doorknobs Were All Diamonds....


If your doorknobs were all diamonds, 
Would you shine them all day long?
If your voice was never scratchy,
Would you always have a song?
If every morn were Christmas,
Would you wake more eagerly?
If your house was made of gold,
would you keep it sparkling clean?
If your ice machine made quarters,
Would you give to those in need?
If your Bible was a movie
Would you take the time to read?
If your husband....or your lovely wife...
were the king or queen,
would you take the trash out,
or keep the bathroom clean?


If.... If.... If....
Would you?....

Or do you take each day to love
And care for what you're given?
Happy is Today for those
Who know for Whom they're living.
                                                ~C

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

He loves us as He made us



This morning I decided to make bacon and pancakes for my children, before they woke up.  The scrumptious smells of breakfast, and the comfort of knowing that someone who loves them is just down the hall, would be a pleasant welcome to their morning.


Bacon~two pieces undercooked, two pieces charred.  Just the way they like them.
Pancakes~four plain silver dollar pancakes. Mix a smashed banana into the rest of the batter for three big banana pancakes.  Just the way they like them.
Milk~one pink cup with hearts, filled to the brim. One coffee mug, chilled and half-filled.  Just the way they like it.


As I was preparing for them, it dawned on me how different they really are. Yet I don't love my daughter more because she likes to eat bacon ashes, and I don't love my son more because he's fruity about his pancakes, but I love them both the same...with all my heart and soul.  I want to oblige them;  I enjoy it, actually, and I appreciate their colorfulness in an otherwise brown and blah world.


And then it hit me:


God is a God of variety.  And He loves us as He made us.


With our big smiles and our loud laughs.  With our big tears and our loud sighs.  With our black hair and our blond hair, our blue eyes and our green eyes, our skinny legs and our...not so skinny legs, our dark skin and our light skin...


In fact, He loved us so much that He made a whole world to accommodate...even to pamper...us.  That's right.  The unobservant, undeserving, ungrateful...us.


He made the majestic mountains for His hikers, His climbers, His I-want-to-see-the-world-around-me children.  He made the shining seas for His fishermen, His sun-lovers, His I-need-to-taste-the-salt-and-feel-the-sand children. He made the rain for His parched ones. He made the rainbows for His grateful ones. He made the spring for His hopeful ones. He made the fall for his sentimental ones.


I stood at the skillet, a fuzzy-robed, frizzy-haired mom, fumbling spoons and spatulas... and I cried.  I was just frying bacon and flipping flapjacks.  But if I would perform this little act of love for the unconscious ones down the hall, how much more must my God love me. 
And you. 
And all of His children...
His colorful, incomparable creations.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Make us vessels of honor for You

Today we made salt clay for our devotion.  Well, and talked a little too.


Salt Clay:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup water
2 T. oil

Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Slowly add water and oil. Mix until blended, but not sticky. If it's too dry, add more water by the tablespoons. Knead for 10 minutes. Bake at 250-300 degrees for 20-30 minutes.  Paint.

And while we kneaded and worked the mixture into a soft clay, we talked about Moses, and how God had to send him to the back side of the desert to mold him, and to make him into who He wanted him to be...The deliverer of his people.  We can be whatever God wants us to be, if we will give Him our lives, and let him knead us and shape us HIS way..not ours...

While we worked, we sang a little song that I wrote years ago, even before my children were born...when God was working so hard on me...and do you want to know something? He still is!!

~God is working on me
  working on me, working on me
  Holding me and changing me
  Molding me and making me
  Into what He wants me to be
  God is working on me~  
                                        ~C